September 5, 2012

decisions, decisions

I hope you had a fantastic long weekend! Did you get out of town or stick around to enjoy the sun at home? I don't know about you but I still get that "back to school" feeling after every labour day, even though I've been out of school a LONG time. I still get those panicky dreams that I'm late for class and I have no idea where my classroom is. This weekend we decided to stick around town since we've had a lot of weekends away lately and have a more few coming up.  It was blissful. I didn't realize how much I needed a weekend of complete relaxation. We watched old movies, went on beautiful walks and I had a chance to catch up with a fantastic group of co-workers who I hadn't seen in 8 months. The photos above were taken at Burns Bog, one of my favourite spots to take the pup.
This afternoon I met with my mom's group and the biggest topic on the table is whether or not to have a second child. It seems to be forefront in everyone's mind. We haven't decided yet. I know you are reeling in shock right now, because if you know me well, you know I'm excellent and extremely speedy at decision making. I found it interesting that a higher percentage of moms in our group have decided that one child will be it for them. Some of the reasons were: affordability - they'd rather give their one child the best possible life. Some women are worried about their age - a few of us are nearing 40 (it's like an eclipse, I can't look directly at the number 40). Some women had a tough experience with their first pregnancy and can't imagine enduring it again. Some can't fathom the energy because they find one child all encompassing. It's such a personal and difficult decision. I'm torn in the sense that I'm older (again, I know you are shocked!) and simply do not know if I have the energy to go through the trials and tribulations trying to get pregnant again. I am also worried about the health risks involved with older pregnancies. Growing up with a sibling is amazing. I have nothing but awesome memories of having my brother as a sidekick on our backyard adventures and family getaways. (Except for the time he thought it'd be funny to hit my head with a hammer, but that's neither here nor there). But, I also know enough amazing "only" children who squash the lonely/selfish stereotypes.  They take friends along on family vacations, play team sports, get together with friends often - it just works. 
I just know that I am crazy about being a mom, which makes me think more children to love would be so life enriching, because Stella has been the best decision we've ever made. Did you find it hard to decide if you were going to have more than one child? What tipped you in one direction or another? I know there are also readers who have opted to have no children and I think, if you know in your heart that it's not for you, then good on you for not having children "just because."                                                                     

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm in the same boat Kelly! After several miscarriages we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl! Although I swore to myself that I wouldn't go through the experience again (pregnancy, childbirth, and the first few crazy months), I'm having second thoughts. When I see our baby girl's smile, I realize the pain of pre to post labour isn't so bad. Our baby was so worth it...and it makes me want to try for another.

kelly said...

Thanks for your response! That's exactly how I feel too - that the trials and tribulations of pregnancy get erased when you see the smile on your baby's face. I appreciate that you took the time to read this!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful words Kelly. My losses were heartbreaking and now as I lye here with my beautiful boy snuggled in close I think, do we try to get pregnant again or do we stop and enjoy this perfect package? We have decided to stop and enjoy for another year and revisit this conversation again, but I know my heart yearns for another little cherub, at least one more kidlets to our brood I don't feel quite "done" yet. I'm not sure how I will cope with failing to conceive or further losses but what I do know is that I feel like the luckiest woman alive to be Henry's mumma, and for now, that's my happy place. Love to you xxx Lu

kelly said...

You are such a natural Mum Lu, Henry has hit the jackpot. Whether or not to have a second is a really tough decision and one we're not quite ready to make yet either. However it all turns out, you and I are both so lucky that we get to experience these beautiful little souls. Big hugs to you and Henry from across the globe. xoxo