December 9, 2014
It sat like a pit in our stomachs throughout our days and a heaviness in our hearts. It was a tangible pain. She is the center, the heart of our family. I think it's safe to say I cried pretty much each day this year - mostly in the car on my commute home, where I could let out a day's worth of keeping it in.
But looking back on the photos, while compiling them for this year's re-cap book, this was also an extraordinary year. We spent so much quality time together as a family - every few days we were joined at the dinner table. Cancer taught us to have important conversations, to focus on what's most important in life and to realize how fragile this life of ours is.
Cancer showed us what support looks like. Support looks like my parent's friends who showed up with meal after meal, who cleaned their home time and time again, who threw wonderful parties, who called endlessly checking in. And the support extended to my extraordinary friends, who dropped off meals or gifts for my mom, even though they have never met her. They blew me away with their thoughtfulness.
Support looks like a wall in mom's home, full of beautiful drawings from her grandbabies, who are too young to know what is happening, but just want nana to feel better.
Now don't go thinking I'm pro cancer, because I'm most definitely not. I was just addressing the silver linings from this year. My mantra is actually fuck cancer. Fuck it for seeping into this family and for slowly taking away our favourite person. Fuck it for still existing in all of its multitudes in spite of millions of millions of dollars put into research. Fuck cancer for having no conscience about who it inflicts.
But I'm looking forward to giving my mom this photo book, to show her that in spite of it all, we still shared so many extraordinary days together. Seize the day people. It's not just a catch phrase, there is so much weight behind it. xoxo