I wanted to write about Stella's journey into this world, even though it is emotionally difficult and raw for me to write about.
I started feeling contractions at 4 am on Saturday, Dec. 17th (4 hours after getting home from the Prince concert). The contractions weren't too painful and I thought I was going to be a champion at labour. Bring it on! Once they were five minutes apart and gaining momentum, I called the hospital to see if it was time to come in. The maternity ward nurse said it would be good to come in for an assessment. In the assessment room, they determined that I was only 1 cm dilated and would have to send me home. As soon as I stood up from the hospital bed, I started to vomit. As I was vomiting, my water broke. (Clean up in aisle five!) I was lucky because only 15% of women have their water naturally break before labour. (Most women have to have the doctors break their water for them).
In seeing my water break, the nurse said, "Well, forget what I just said, you are staying now, we're checking you in." Suddenly I was brought into my own private room and was preparing for labour. The contractions came fast and furious. I tried every breathing technique under the sun: fast short breaths, deep long breaths, yoga breathing- you name it - I tried it. I counted backwards, did the alphabet backwards, anything to try and keep my mind off the pain. Eventually, I just couldn't stay on top of the pain and kept turning to Craig, begging for him to make it stop. I asked the nurse if it was possible at this point to get an epidural. She checked and because I was 4 cm dilated, they called in the Anesthesiologist (or as I like to refer to him, a God in a smock.) When he put the needle in my back, I instantly felt like a new woman. Suddenly I was able to talk, to laugh, to rest - I was even considering naming our child epidural. At that point in time, it was THE BEST decision I had ever made in my entire life. I was so happy. The on call doctor swung through in a cavalier fashion. I wasn't impressed by how little he seemed to care about my labour. He went out Christmas tree shopping and the nurses were trying their hardest to get him back to the hospital. When he returned, he determined that I was already 10 cm dilated. It was showtime. At 4 pm, he got me to start pushing. I gave it everything I had. I was so excited because he said that most first time moms give birth within two hours. I was so thrilled that we'd have a baby in our arms by 6 pm. Everytime I pushed, I had to hoist myself upright using a towel slung over a railing. I had to push for 30 seconds every two minutes. It quickly became exhausting, and as the epidural wore off, quickly became painful. Craig helped lift me during my contractions so that I could push. The doctor kept encouraging me, "You're so close, don't give up, think of your baby!" Even when I had nothing left in me, I kept going. (I was also vomiting water every second or third contraction). After four hours of pushing, yes, four hours, the on call doctor finally got the OB/GYN to examine me. Within 20 seconds of feeling inside, she said that I should never have been pushing in the first place, that the baby was stuck far up in my pelvis. She immediately called for an emergency C section without hesitation. She said that the baby was too far up inside of me for forceps or a vacuum. By 9 pm, I was having a spinal and getting strapped to a gurney. Stella was born at 9:15 pm. The OB/GYN said it was the most difficult C section she had performed. After four hours of pushing, my uterus ruptured as soon as they opened me. The OB/GYN was able to salvage it quickly, enabling me to have children again if we so choose. Unfortunately, I lost a lot of blood and was a borderline case for getting a transfusion. As soon as they lifted Stella in the air, and I heard her cry, I burst into tears, so happy that she was safe and sound. They quickly checked her over and wrapped her up snuggly, resting her in our arms. I went into convulsions as a side effect from the spinal, and had to have Craig take Stella away, in fear that I would drop her. Craig went with Stella and the nurses up to the maternity ward and I stayed for a few hours of post op. On Sunday morning, the OB/GYN checked the bag hooked up to my catheter and was alarmed that it only contained blood, no urine. She called in a urologist who broke the news to me that I would have to have surgery that afternoon. He rushed me downstairs for some cat scans and bladder examinations. They were worried that the ureter (the tube connecting the kidneys to the bladder) was damaged from all the pushing. I wept when he told me about the surgery. I felt like I was constantly being pulled away from Stella, and physically I felt that I had nothing left in me to give. I hadn't had anything other than water since Friday, and they told me I couldn't have anything because it would delay the surgery. They wanted to put a shunt through my ureter to see if it was blocked, and if it was blocked, they were going to have to re-open my C section incision and reconnect my ureter to another part of my bowel. Luckily, the doctor was able to get a shunt successfully through the ureter and vacuumed out blood clots that were taking up my bladder. By Sunday night, I was back in the ward with Stella and Craig and on the road to recovery.
I am happy to report that the OB/GYN is launching an investigation against the on-call doctor, who she said should never had had me push in the first place, let alone for four hours. The hospital is doing an audit on him and wants me to write them a letter about everything. It gets me upset to speak about because I feel that he needlessly put my baby's life in jeopardy, and has no idea how long our road was to get to her. I am so thrilled she's happy, healthy and at home safe in our arms. Our little Stella has proven to be a real trooper. xo
