the waiting game

I honestly feel like a little kid who is trying their hardest to fall asleep on Christmas Eve, but is too ramped up with excitement about what is to come. I toss and turn all night - I really can't wait to meet this little baby, to finally see them and to hold him or her for the first time. I keep envisioning everything - hearing Craig announce if it's a boy or a girl, seeing him hold our baby for the first time and knowing this is finally our time- our baby that we get to keep. I can't wait to introduce the baby to our parents, siblings and friends. The waiting is tough. It shouldn't be. I should be basking in these quieter moments before this little one bursts on the scene. But, I have definitely come to realize I'm not good at simply relaxing. I'm not a feet up kind of gal. TV doesn't really interest me much (with the exception of Breaking Bad, which blows my mind). Reading during the day is tough, it feels like too much of a luxury, I'm constantly distracted, itching to go out and visit friends. I don't know if it's from working on a fast paced trade floor for so long or if it's just part of my make up - but even when we travel, I prefer to load up a jeep and hit the road to explore remote locations instead of simply lying on a beach. So having the doctor tell me to just take it easy has been anything but. Do you find it easy to relax? Are you good at just having a day in? 

Creativity

Have you ever checked out Ted.com? It's an amazing free series of lectures by riveting speakers. This afternoon, I checked out Ken Robinson's talk on how school kills creativity - insightful, absolutely hilarious and inspiring. I highly recommend taking 20 minutes out of your day to watch it. As educators, why is more emphasis placed on mathematics and sciences and less clout given to the arts? Why are we always encouraging our children to pursue careers in business and technology and steering them clear of a future in writing or music? Ken Robinson gives an in-depth portrait on his philosophies as to how education should help discover children's passions instead of squander them. Why, when we become older, are we more afraid - more afraid of being wrong, of taking chances? Do you consider yourself a creative soul? Some people almost feel ashamed to admit it, like it's a flakey trait to possess. I have always loved the arts- my life's biggest passions are writing, photography, music, dancing, cooking, movies, painting, design - I am drawn to all things that tap into my deepest emotions or provide visual stimulation. My English Literature degree might not be held in as high esteem with my co-workers as their MBAs, PHDs, CMAs, etc...but I know that I am just as bright as they are, but my learning style is just rooted more deeply in creativity. I love discussing people's hobbies that they are most passionate about - because it is often something that has nothing to do with their day jobs. Let's face it, whether it's through parental suggestion or education, we are often encouraged to pursue occupations that provide a safe trail, steady income and gainful employment - a reliable paycheque so that we can pay our bills and sleep at night. What if we really took chances in our pursuits? What would the world look like then? A few years ago I went through occupational testing at UBC, just out of interest's sake to see what it came up with after a series of questionnaires and tests. The top five jobs? Musician, Photographer, Art Teacher, Advertising manager and Broadcast Journalist. Creative pursuits prevailed. I wasn't surprised. I just felt a little disappointed that I have never felt confident enough to take a chance on a trail that often feels so uncertain. That's why I honestly love writing this blog. Whether one person reads it or 100 people read it, it is an endeavour that lets me channel my photography and writing at once. If you pop in to read this, you are paying me the highest compliment because you are taking a moment to get to know the real me. Thank you so much valued readers. I hope you always try to make time for your passions. xo

o Christmas tree, o Christmas tree

Last night we put up the tree. I am so happy we got a tree in place before the baby comes. It's my favourite part of the Christmas season - sitting by the fire at night with the tree plugged in, listening to music. We found a great service at Art & Knapps this year - you pick out your tree, they will bag it, cut if if necessary and will tie it up to your car/truck for you. It was so wonderfully easy. Do you prefer real or fake trees? Do you decorate yours the same each year or change it up? I love how diverse people are with their choices. We saw white trees, hot pink ones, you name it, it was being sold yesterday. Some people still order their trees to be sprayed with fake snow. Whatever makes you happy, go for it. Tis the season for classy or full out, over the top blinking light cheesy. 

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Hello Friends! Sorry for the delay between posts. We've been frantically trying to wrap up our kitchen reno before the baby comes. I think they call these situations shotgun renos - which will arrive first, the contractions or the appliances, the countertops or the baby? The race is on. Today is officially day two of my mat leave. I know already that I'm going to miss all of the wonderful people that I work alongside - you take for granted how many social interactions you have in a typical day at work. That being said, it'll be nice to have the time to focus on getting the house renos done, getting ready for the baby's arrival and getting into the Christmas spirit. Have you decorated your home for Christmas already? Do you prefer the fake tree or the real deal? Do you have any favourite Christmas traditions that you have set up for your family? Some of our favourite traditions include riding the Stanley Park Christmas Train and walking around the Van Dusen Gardens Festival of Lights with a hot delicious drink in hand. We also try to take in a cheesy local Christmas pantomime play each year, it's pretty fun to see the variety of acting abilities unfold on stage. What puts you in the Christmas mood? Setting up your tree? Baking delicious short bread? Hoisting egg nog with friends who are decked out in awesome reindeer sweaters? I hope you're starting to feel the magic in the air!

the home stretch

Each day now I wake up thinking, will this be the day? Our due date is Dec. 11, so it feels like it is rapidly approaching. I still vividly remember finding out I was pregnant, running down the street after Craig (who was walking to work) and leaping up into his arms waving the pregnancy test around like a crazy woman holding a winning lottery ticket. It seems like just yesterday and yet the journey of pregnancy itself is a long road. Last night the baby kept me up with another big bout of vomiting. I will not miss nights like those, but I will miss the phenomenon of pregnancy. I can't express how grateful I am of having the amazing fortune to experience this. It was something I never thought I'd get to do and I wouldn't trade it in for the world. All I wish is that every woman whose heart yearns to have a baby gets to experience it. I honestly still wake up in disbelief that our dream came true. It was years in the making, so please don't give up hope if you're also struck with fertility issues. You never know when your luck will change. I will miss having this little buddy with me wherever I go. I will miss that private feeling of having this little boy or girl moving and kicking inside of me. But now I am definitely ready to meet this little person who has shared my body for the past 38 1/2 weeks. Sorry for so many baby updates lately, but when the birth is looming this closely, it's really all I can think about. I'm just waiting for the baby to let me know when they're ready to meet us. I told Craig it's feels like someone's going to tap me on the shoulder in the night and say, "You know that marathon you haven't trained for? Well get up because you're about to run it. It might take you awhile to get to the finish line and it might hurt like hell along the way, but you'll make it."

the final countdown...

Two weeks to go.
This weekend our friends surprised us with a baby shower. I was completely shocked.  Our friend Tabb, who hails from Virginia, invited the gang over for a traditional American Thanksgiving feast. So, when we walked in and saw their place decorated with baby stuff, I burst into tears. The support and kindness that we have been shown throughout this process has been absolutely amazing. I've learned so much from our friends, their experiences in parenthood, their amazing skill sets, their suggestions, their heartfelt enthusiasm. It's getting so close and yet I don't feel quite ready. I mean technically, we're ready. The room is set up.  We've been generously inundated with gifts, clothes, supplies, everything a little bean could possibly need. From a position of "stuff", we're definitely ready. But on Friday night, while out walking the dog, I turned to Craig and just teared up. It suddenly occurred to me that for 17 years, it's been about us, just us. And I love what we've created together- our love, our friendship, our adventures, our teamwork. Are we really ready to have someone come in and tip that on its side?
I know that life will be different. It will be enriched yet challenging, bigger, yet somehow more insular, it  will be everything we dreamt of and yet nothing we could have ever predicted. I know we'll love being parents, we both have wanted this for so long. But now that the due date is just two weeks away, I'm feeling desperate to have a few more romantic dinners, a few more shared moments where we are fully engrossed in each other's company and not distracted, a few more evenings where it's just "us." I guess the fact that the clock is quickly counting down now just makes me sentimental about how lucky we've been to have all of this time together. I hope this new baby loves our little family as much as I do.

unexpected sunshine in November - bliss

Sometimes the swirling colours in the water remind me of beautiful impressionist paintings.