March 6, 2016

in a heartbeat, everything can change

Hi friends, it's been awhile since I had a chance to write. Two weeks ago my dad was admitted into the hospital with stomach pains. It started out as no big deal. He was diagnosed with diverticulitis and they were going to try and treat it with medication for a few days and see how it went. Dad sent me home to collect some of his things to bring to the hospital for him, including his Proactiv Skin Care line, which made me giggle. He said, it really works, the infomercials don't lie! But then, three days into hospitalization, things took a turn, his Diverticulitis ruptured, which only happens to approx. 5% of patients, and it turns the body septic. They had to do emergency surgery and perform a colostomy. It was their worst case scenario, but one in which he was expected to bounce back from. Then a few days later, things went from bad to worse. During his recovery, he vomited into his lungs, which can be fatal. Right away he had to have his lungs drained and he was put on life support. Suddenly it was touch and go. It was hard for me to process, the fact that in one quick week he went from stomach pains to life support. After a week on life support, they were finally able to get him to start breathing on his own. It was a huge turning point because he had two failed attempts to breathe without machines in the days leading up. But since then, his brain has not bounced back. He has pneumonia and is completely delirious. It is hell trying to talk to him because he'll look right into my eyes and then blurt things out that don't make any sense. I can tell you that I've never missed my mother more and yet I'm so glad she's not here to see this. She hasn't even been gone a year, so it's hard to believe we're right back to this level of living with day to day uncertainty.  I'm so lucky in that I have a kick ass uncle, aunt, my friend's parents and my bro who have formed this network to keep each other up to date with any info we find out because with nurses changing daily and doctors on rotation, it's easy for information to get missed.
Juggling this with our daughter who has been sick now for a week, and the busyness of work/home/classes, life has never felt more like Life, capital L. So, if you ever feel bored because you don't have much going on, maybe take a moment to realize, those are the times we should be grateful, when things are quiet, when things are ticking along per usual. Sleep tight friends. xo


Anonymous said...

omg that is too much to even read let alone live. your poor Dad and family...I would tell you to stay strong but I know that's what you have been doing. I lost my husband on January 30 (same cancer as your Mom) and the next day my only brother collapsed at a pub and was hospitalized with heart failure. The hospital staff wondered how we, the family, hadn't seen it coming. He had driven to work and put in a full laborious day the day prior to his collapse. we had no idea. and yes, life changes in a heartbeat and seldom comes one disaster at a time. I feel your fear and grief but also see your strength...the only way forward is one foot in front of the other...clinging tightly to those you love. I hope for the best outcome for your Dad,

kelly said...

Thank you so much for your comment. I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your husband's passing. I hope you are finding some moments of happiness to shine some light into what I can only imagine are very difficult days.