It is becoming increasingly apparent that I will have to develop thicker skin during this adoption process. Quickly.
On Friday at work, a co-worker walked up and said, "I heard through the grapevine that you are adopting." I happily replied, "Yes, we are." Their response: "Why?"
It's funny because if I had a little buddha belly and announced, "I'm pregnant!" The responses would inevitably be, "Congratulations!" I don't think people would say, "Why?"
So, once again, I found myself having to explain the painful reality of my fertility issues to someone I barely know. I finished the story with, "well, my husband and I are really excited about it all. " She just said, "hm".
I realize that a lot of people just aren't familiar with adoption and perhaps don't know how to react to it. I like the philosophy that people really just do their best, given what they know at the time. And when they know better, they do better. So maybe if I can shed a little light on Adoption, I'll help broaden some minds and more moms-to-be will hear "Congratulations!" instead of "Why?"
I know the road will only get more challenging, especially since we are creating a multicultural family. I know there is a lot of ignorance in this world. I've already entertained questions like, "why would you adopt internationally when their are children who need homes in Canada?"
I'm definitely not opposed to adopting locally whatsoever. Amazing families are formed at home. For us, it was just a question of timing at this stage of our lives. Through international adoption, we were given a list of
Hague Convention approved countries to choose from and then we get put on a waiting list. We chose Korea because we really liked their adoption program. They have a wonderful foster care program for the babies in waiting. Our agency is allowed to permit seven families to adopt from Korea in a given year, so we were thrilled to make that short list, knowing within the year, we'd be parents. When you adopt locally, you put together a package and wait while a birth mom goes through all of the homestudy books/packages until she chooses a couple to give her baby to. It could take months, or it could take years. We just knew in our hearts that we're ready to be parents. Now.
If you saw my blog entry
The Girl Effect a few weeks ago, you would also know that children growing up in third world countries aren't provided with the same opportunities that children are here. So if you are someone who sees a family with an adopted baby from Ethiopia or Haiti and say, why don't they help children here first? Think of the life someone born in Canada has, versus the life of a child growing up in the developing world. You can also take action and do something for local children instead of paying it lip service by criticizing the choices of others.
It's definitely an adventure going through this process. We couldn't be more excited. The day we get a proposal, you'll probably hear screams of joy trailing through the air - no matter where you live. We'll be THAT LOUD. We've also had the most amazing far reaching support. I couldn't be more thankful to our families, our friends, and friends of friends who have overwhelmed us with their genuine interest and support. This child is going to be LOVED. Big time.
