the final countdown...

Two weeks to go.
This weekend our friends surprised us with a baby shower. I was completely shocked.  Our friend Tabb, who hails from Virginia, invited the gang over for a traditional American Thanksgiving feast. So, when we walked in and saw their place decorated with baby stuff, I burst into tears. The support and kindness that we have been shown throughout this process has been absolutely amazing. I've learned so much from our friends, their experiences in parenthood, their amazing skill sets, their suggestions, their heartfelt enthusiasm. It's getting so close and yet I don't feel quite ready. I mean technically, we're ready. The room is set up.  We've been generously inundated with gifts, clothes, supplies, everything a little bean could possibly need. From a position of "stuff", we're definitely ready. But on Friday night, while out walking the dog, I turned to Craig and just teared up. It suddenly occurred to me that for 17 years, it's been about us, just us. And I love what we've created together- our love, our friendship, our adventures, our teamwork. Are we really ready to have someone come in and tip that on its side?
I know that life will be different. It will be enriched yet challenging, bigger, yet somehow more insular, it  will be everything we dreamt of and yet nothing we could have ever predicted. I know we'll love being parents, we both have wanted this for so long. But now that the due date is just two weeks away, I'm feeling desperate to have a few more romantic dinners, a few more shared moments where we are fully engrossed in each other's company and not distracted, a few more evenings where it's just "us." I guess the fact that the clock is quickly counting down now just makes me sentimental about how lucky we've been to have all of this time together. I hope this new baby loves our little family as much as I do.

unexpected sunshine in November - bliss

Sometimes the swirling colours in the water remind me of beautiful impressionist paintings.

the name game

Nearing the home stretch, we're working down our baby name lists.  It's definitely a tricky process. I struggle with decision making at the best of times, and this decision feels BIG. What is most important to you when you're thinking of baby names? Some people prefer to name their baby after a valued family member. (My dad keeps campaigning for his name, Christopher).  Some new parents like the idea of choosing a popular name so their child doesn't have to worry about being teased. Then there are those lucky ones who just know their favourite name, have carried it with them in anticipation of having children one day, and do not sway from that decision. For others the meaning of the name plays a big part. My primary goal when choosing a name was to pick something a little more unique and something that didn't begin with the K sound because our family is already made up of : Karen, Kelsey, Craig, Claire, Carol, Chris, Kelly.....it gets a bit Crazy. I know that whatever name we choose might not please everyone and that's ok. It's human nature to associate names with those we encounter throughout our lives, some for better, some for worse. I thought I'd share with you our top ten names for boys and girls in random order.  We're going to try to narrow our choices down in the next few days and go to the hospital with a few top picks and then just see what suits the baby the most. I picked up a great baby naming book this weekend called A is for Atticus. It is full of more unique names based on characters from amazing works of literature. It's a great book for those looking for something off the beaten path.
Here's our girl's list in random order:

• stella
• audrey
• sophie
• ruby
• olivia
• hannah
• ava
• paige
• grace
• autumn

Here's our boy's list in random order: 

• parker
• ethan
• noah
• lucas
• ryan
• owen
• finn
• benjamin
• charlie
• logan

this weekend....

remember to look at the beautiful world around you.........

take a moment for yourself.......

know that good things come to those who wait...........

xo - have an amazing weekend!

baby steps

Tonight the first snowfall left it's pretty dusting across the yard. It was the perfect night to cozy up by the fire with a cup of tea. I've hit the 37 week mark of this pregnancy and I have to admit, I'm feeling a little trepidation. We had a tour of the maternity ward at the hospital last night and the home stretch is definitely feeling imminent now. The rooms are amazing - the hospital recently opened a new maternity ward where the suites are like fancy hotel rooms, complete with beds for mom, partner and baby, a flat screen tv, a big shower and bathtub, warming station for the baby, birthing yoga balls, mini re-fridgerator, a view of the ocean, the list goes on and on, but all I could stare at was the delivery bed. The delivery bed that is outfitted with bars to hang on to if you want gravity to aid in the birth. Can I do this? Millions upon millions of women have given birth. I am a pretty calm and relaxed person by nature, surely I can embrace the beauty of this miraculous moment. But creeping in the back of my mind is the thought that I will lose it during delivery, cling to the hospital bed bars, and advise my husband that I have decided to just keep the baby in my belly. And by advise, I mean scream at the top of my lungs. And by scream, I mean swear like a trucker. We can just enjoy parenting this baby through the womb and that will be just fine. I think it's just the self-doubt that creeps in when a dream is about to be realized. I've held this dream so close to my heart for all these years that the fact it's so close now, I am so eager to see it brought to fruition and want to succeed at it in the biggest way. I want this baby to know that they are loved. I want them to feel safe and cherished, to feel worthy, to embrace their talents, their purpose, their passions in life. I want to share in exploring the world together, to see the world through their eyes as they grow and learn. I want to create volumes of memories that bring joy to their heart. I want them to see me light up whenever they enter a room. I want to feel that first feeling of having them placed in my arms and finally meeting them after all this time. We're so close now, I cannot wait. But if only they could arrive by stork, like I was taught in the cartoons.

the last getaway

With the baby due in a month, we wanted one last getaway, so we headed over to Pender Island with some of our oldest friends. On Friday's journey over, the whole ferry fell silent at 11 am for a few moments to honour Remembrance Day. It was extremely moving to see everyone become so quiet and still on board, all you could hear was the ocean lapping against the ship. When we got to the house, the wind picked up throughout the afternoon, crashing huge waves against the rocky coastline, knocking the power out from 3 to 10 pm. We cooked up the dinner on the bbq, huddled under blankets and had a romantic candlelit feast. The rest of the weekend was full of great walks, lots of delicious home cooking and we even spotted a pod of killer whales swim right by the back patio. On Saturday night, we played a great game called Apples to Apples, where I cleaned up, but it wasn't tough given that I was the lone sober one and everyone was well into their mugs of rum. I can't remember when I have laughed so hard.  Initially when we were invited over to Pender, I was a little nervous to go over because there isn't a hospital on the island and I have been getting more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions lately but I'm so glad we went. It really was the perfect last pre-baby getaway. I hope you had a wonderful long weekend!

the best kind of drop in visit

I love it when days like these just happen unexpectedly. Our friends Forbes & Jacinthe and their sweet new little daughter Elle popped in today. I was just mesmerized watching Elle's facial expressions while she slept in my arms. It's one of those little blissful moments in life that I wouldn't trade for anything. There is something so amazing about watching friends embark on these huge life shifts. I'm so happy to share in it. Another good friend of ours -Kerry, her hubby Scott and their daughter Sydney welcomed a new little girl to their family on Nov 2: Alexa Quinn - how sweet is that name? I can't wait to meet her. We haven't settled on a name yet. We have shortlisted the girls names to our top three, but still have seven or eight boys names floating around. Each month I seem to rotate through different favourites. Did you have baby names picked out before you gave birth? Or, do you think it's easier to see the baby first?