Funny Fridays: the hair salon

I know I called this Funny Fridays: the hair salon, but don't get too excited, I didn't get a funny cut. I just think the overall haircut experience is quite funny.  Most men I know aren't metrosexuals and treat a haircut as just something they have to get done: fill up car, pick up milk, get haircut. They drop in a local barbershop or presidents choice salon, see if there is any wait time, get a cut and then wait for their change from their $20. For women, the hair salon experience is entirely different. First of all , it gets marked on our calendars- we block off a night for it. We have our specific "someone" and we have built a hair trust relationship with this someone. We have such close bonds that we feel we are cheating on them if we go to someone else. If you are a woman and a friend at work asks you what you are doing that evening, and you say "getting my haircut" they inevitably lean in, "ooooooh! Are you getting it coloured, trying our a new style?" Women understand. It is an experience and they want to know your plan of attack.  For men, it doesn't even register as something worth mentioning unless the barber had some porn mags hidden under the sports illustrated. Last night I walked in to see my hairdresser with a magazine ad clutched in my hand, hoping the glossy image could speak volumes to my stylist. She looked at my photo of Penelope Cruz and then back at my red frizz, continuously back and forth with a puzzled expression. I wondered if she could see the desperation in my eyes, my pathetic plea for her to not only transform my hair into something smooth, but could the aforementioned haircut also somehow make my boobs look bigger and transform me into a Spanish goddess? I never seem to walk in clutching a photo of some pasty white girl, like myself. Clearly I view my stylist as some kind of miracle worker/illusionist hybrid. I am greeted by a younger woman who takes me to the hairwashing station, you know what I am talking about ladies, the scalp massage that you do everything in your power to refrain from professing your love to this stranger as they pretty much give your scalp an orgasm. This lovely hairwasher then led me to my stylist's workstation and asked if I would like a coffee. I think before she even finished the question I excitedly blurted out yes please!! As a new mom, coffee is pretty much the only thing keeping me upright. Shortly after taking my order, I think she went off shift. I never saw her again or that coffee. I'll categorize that experience as soul crushing. Please don't dangle the offer of a coffee in front of me, watch my face light up in anticipation and then leave. I will key your car - maybe with the words latte liar! I considered asking my stylist for the coffee, but she was busy telling me the story of someone she knows with cancer, and there is nothing that makes you look more like a jackass then saying, "I'm so sorry to interrupt the story of your sick friend, um, do you have any idea about the status of my complimentary coffee?" As the haircut progressed, a sketchy looking man leaned in the salon saying, "hi ladies." I thought, hmmm, so this is how I'm going to go out, bored creep opens fire on small town salon. I can't say I saw that one coming. He then asked, "does anyone here drive a silver Toyota?" A customer responded that she did. He said, this one right out here? And she followed him out. I thought, well, it has been nice knowing you Toyota driver, at least your hair will have fresh highlights for your funeral. But he actually found $20 on the ground beside her car and thought she probably dropped it when she walked into the salon. Boy did I feel like a fool for mistaking this amazing Good Samaritan for a pervert/killer. Isn't it refreshing that people like that still exist? Can you imagine if the Toyota driver bought us a round of celebratory lattes with that $20 at the neighboring Starbucks? That would bookend this story so nicely! She probably used the money to tip her hairdresser, which, I suppose, is also nice.  Happy Friday! I hope you have a great weekend lined up! xo
** Sorry this entry is lacking a photo, we are housesitting and I am lacking my camera cables.