changing our expectations

One of the biggest life lessons I learned from a friend who recently passed away is to try and live without expectations, that way you aren't disappointed. He truly was one of the happiest people I knew and I think his outlook played a large part in that. Don't you find that after you go to an event, you either loved it or hated it because it exceeded or fell short of your expectations? Why do we have preconceived notions of how things should be? I definitely expect others to make the same efforts for me that I make for them and often am let down. It isn't anyone's fault but my own for having expectations of how things should be. Living without expectations isn't to say we shouldn't have boundaries, goals and dreams for ourselves, but to realize that things don't always go according to plan. In fact, life rarely goes according to plan. Think back to when you were 18, is your life now how you thought it would be? Probably not. I thought I would be a writer for a wildly successful and hilarious sitcom and have children when I was in my late 20s. Fast forward 20 years, and the only writing I do is on this blog and I had my baby at 39, not exactly the age of a spring chicken. More like a wiser, older chicken with very few eggs popping out.    
The older I get (and believe me, I seem to be aging by leaps and bounds lately!) the more I realize it is resilience, adaptability and a sense of humour that are key components to success in life. People lose jobs, they get divorced, friendships change, loved ones die. All of these incidents force us to let go of our expectations for how life is supposed to be. The key is not to get stuck in a moment, caught in a failure or sadness and have it define you forever. Life is too short for that. If there's one thing I'm learning through being a parent is that you have to live in the moment.  Expectations and babies don't mix. I start each day with a to do list. (Are you a list maker? My god, I love writing lists. They include everything from chores like 'get groceries', to obvious gimmes like 'have a shower'.)  Sometimes I breeze through the day's list and sometimes I might get one thing done depending on how my daughter's day goes. It used to frustrate me that some days go by with little accomplished, but I've learned to let go of expectations and take each day as they come. Try to toss out your expectations with your next event, your next movie, your next meal, your next day - just experience it without any preconceived notions and see how it goes. xo