How to score free gatorade:
Two weeks ago the doctor gave me the green light to start working out again. Naturally since I have been pushing that mother**** of a stroller (why again didn't we buy something more lightweight?) daily, I figured that working out would be an easy transition. Hence, my cocky decision to join my friend for a spinning class for my welcome back tour. Hell, I even went 15 minutes early to warm up my legs on one of the bikes. It seemed like a great idea at the time - you know, why not toss on an extra bit of cardio because after all, I did have an entire banana for breakfast and my bod was ripped from all of my walking. Oh ya, I figured my transition back to athletics would be undetectable to the naked eye. Fast forward 45 minutes into class, when we are supposed to be envisioning hills and as hard as I tried, I was only seeing stars. I wanted to smoothly climb off my bike and pretend I had to use the washroom. Unfortunately, as soon as I climbed off the bike, I knew that I'd collapse if I tried to walk away. So instead, I stood cooly beside my bike - pretending to inspect some ill-designed piece of mechanics on the bike. When I found my land legs again, I very non-chalantly sashayed out the door and sat on the first seat available. Immediately after, the teacher followed me out. It's the gym's policy to make sure you are okay. I told her to please return to teach her class, but she had to wait for another staff member to arrive before she could. So much for my subtle exit. Before I knew it, a gym jockey arrived, gave me a giant high five (for making it out alive?), checked my vital signs and gave me a bottle of gatorade as a parting gift/pity prize. Perhaps I over-shot.
Since then, I have re-joined my local gym and have taken workouts at a gentler rate of return. Today at power yoga, someone actually out-dorked me. I kid you not. Not only did this neighbour yogi of mine sing along to the songs whilst we were doing yoga, (distract much?), when we were in an inverted pose he picked up his iphone and started texting. You read that right, he was texting upside down. My teacher, being a bit of an india-taught ancient practice kind of traditionalist, didn't think this was cool. She got up, and in front of the 50 or so students, stood by his side and announced, "ladies and gentlemen we have a first, texting while doing yoga..." but I know deep down she really wanted to shove the phone up his chakra.
Namaste y'all!
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