girls night in

One of my friends just moved into a gorgeous new condo in North Vancouver with an amazing view of the North shore mountains. I love it when the girls all get together, the conversation flows to great depths. They were also kind enough to order in pasta for us carb-loading preggo girls. I think my favourite little nugget of wisdom that I walked away with tonight was when one of my friends talked about how everyone has their own little bundle that they carry - their own bundle of worries/anxieties/stresses, etc. Everyone's bundle is the same size, but what it contains is entirely different. One person's bundle might be that their child is battling an illness, one person's bundle might be that they are worried that with the recent loss of their job they can't feed their family, while one person's bundle might be that they afraid of germs, or one person's bundle might be that they don't feel they have many friends - each person's unique worries/anxieties feels enormous to them, but might roll off the back of another. I love how everyone is so different. The best part is, the more we share our stories and struggles, the more we realize that we're all the same - humans just trying the best we can with what we have been equipped with. We know a lot of our own personal fears or worries often aren't rooted in reality, they are transposed by what story we've come to believe about ourselves. For example, one of my greatest fears is when work people invite me out for drinks. I am petrified that I won't have anything funny/interesting to chat with them about and eventually I'll just be sitting on my own. This isn't based on any past experience or fact, but it scares me enough to back out of going. The ironic thing is that when I do go, I always have a great time, it's just the getting there that can be the hard part. The good thing is that I've noticed a huge shift in perspective lately. I have always wanted to be a mom and now that my dreams are feeling more attainable with this pregnancy, I find that little things that used to worry me or bother me have completely fallen to the wayside. I feel grounded and excited that my goals are finally coming into fruition. It's like when you're on the right path, you see things more clearly and priorities fall right into place. Now the "bundle" that I carry around is just hoping for a healthy pregnancy, and that's a bundle I'm happy to tote. Goodnight sweet friends!

catching up

It's late, so I'll keep this short and sweet, like my friend Janet, pictured above :) We met up for dessert and like a goof, I forgot my camera - of course the desserts were completely picturesque and the ambiance would have been beautiful light to shoot my friends - it seems whenever I forget my camera, I see the most beautiful moments that would have been lovely to capture. It was fun as always to catch up with these two, who I've known since I literally was a baby. We all grew up with brothers, so it sure was great having one another to have as adopted sisters, and still is. 

Game 1 Stanley Cup Finals

I won't win any competitions with this photo, but who cares? The Canucks put the Bruins away!  It is definitely going to be a tough series with the incredible goaltending showcased tonight between these two teams. Raffi Torres, the only Canuck to have played in a previous Stanely Cup Final, scored with 19 seconds left in the third period to put one victory on the board for the Canucks in this tough match up.

It's going to be a nail biting series. 

I'm feeling nauseous tonight, not from nerves, from the bambino, so I'm hitting the hay. Goodnight! 

now i'm ready to start

It felt so great to get back to the gym. I know the gym isn't the most exciting place to be, but after a month of feeling nauseous, moving on that elliptical machine while music pumped in my ears, felt so incredibly energizing. Here are a few recent IPOD adds to get you grooving.
Arcade Fire
foster the people
death cab for cutie
Adele

my favourite little people

While my dad looked after my napping niece, mom and I took my nephew to the park for some playground fun today. I savour every afternoon that I get to spend like this. 

and baby makes three...

When I found out I was pregnant, I really felt like I had won the lottery. I literally ran down the street as Craig was walking to work, waving the positive pregnancy stick in the air, shouting his name. After years of trying, I honestly had resolved to thinking it just wouldn't be in the stars for us. We were well on the adoption route, a year and a half into the process, just in the waiting phases, and were very excited by the prospect of getting matched up with a little baby in the world. Due to adoption rules, we will have to put it in hold. (You can't adopt within a year of having a baby). I think the rules are fair, it gives the new adopted baby a chance to bond with the family without there being so much distraction.

I have the incredible luck of being pregnant at the same time as two of my close friends - we are all due within 7 weeks of one another. It's been wonderful being able to ask them tonnes of questions as the pregnancy progresses and share in this experience together.

I had borrowed my friend's Clearblue Fertility Monitor and within the first month of using it, I got pregnant. The same thing happened for her. I highly recommend this product. I can't guarantee that it was the magic solution or if I had finally relaxed knowing the adoption was close to wrapping up, but if anyone out there is struggling to get pregnant, I think this product is a must try. At my age, and after trying for so long, my doctor said my prospects of getting pregnant naturally (without turning to IUI or IVF) was around 5% a month, so you can imagine how amazed I was that this product helped the first go round. It's easy to use, you simply pee on the ovulation sticks and put them in the monitor and it calculates your precise days of prime fertility. I had used regular ovulation predictor sticks in the past, but this product is more technically precise at pinpointing your exact timing.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I literally couldn't stop smiling. I remember a woman stopped me in Safeway to say, "You look so happy, I've never seen someone smile so much. " I thanked her and told her I had just found out I was pregnant and she congratulated me. It was funny that I revealed my secret to a stranger before our friends and family even knew. I just was caught up in the feeling of it all. 

In the early stages, I went on a hike with some friends. At one point, I was in a section of the hike, with some friends ahead, and some behind, and for a few moments, I was in a beautiful grove of trees on my own. I stood and looked up at the trees and thought, but I'm not alone -I'm sharing this beautiful moment with my little baby inside. It was just one of those great moments that stood out for me.

I have to admit that once the 7 week mark hit, the nausea kicked in big time. I mean, I could have been a double for the girl in the Exorcist whose head spun around as she projectile vomited. There were some days when I couldn't move without vomiting, sometimes six or seven times a day, and was ordered by the doctor to stay home for one week. During those days, I wondered, how do moms look after young toddlers if they are so nauseated in their second pregnancy? My hats are off to those women because I was at a point where all I could do was sleep. Functioning was at an all time low. But I really can't complain, the morning sickness has eased up substantially, to every three days or so now that I'm past the 12 week mark. I know some women who have endured a lot worse than that. They are definitely troopers. 

At this stage of the pregnancy, my food aversions are at an all time high. I can't seem to hold down vegetables yet, and am living off a steady diet of cereal, sandwiches, simple pasta, pizza, sushi (everything but the raw fish), fruit, milk and juice popsicles. Hello carb overload! It's not a well balanced diet by any means at this stage but I'm just focussing on what I can keep down. The other thing I've noticed is an incredible sense of smell. I feel like I could moonlight as a detective's bloodhound. If someone at work puts on hand lotion, I have to go for a walk, the smell almost makes me vomit on the spot. If my hubby puts on cologne, I have to open the window or leave the room. It's crazy how much the sense of smell is heightened. Restaurants are still tricky because of all the different smells. But one thing is for sure, it's all an adventure. 

I find the most fascinating part so far is reading up on what is happening with each stage of the baby's development and what my body is going through. It is really amazing, for example, at this stage of 12 weeks, the baby is already touching their hands together, touching their feet, touching their eyelids, their liver and kidneys are already functioning, it blows my mind that something so tiny already has all of its organs formed. We even got to see the little bean move its arms during the ultrasound - definitely an amazing moment. It really has put me in a position of awe when I think of how amazing the human body is. 

Thank you for taking a moment to read this - it's definitely something I've wanted to share for awhile now. Dreams really can come true. xo 

it finally feels like we were stepping into spring

I hope you're having a great weekend! Today I finally felt the warmth of the sun. At first my eyeballs didn't know what to make of the giant light permeating from the sky - it has been a loooong cold season.
I know it's a little odd to post photos of shoes, but these just felt like Spring when I saw them. I'm not a typical girl in the sense that I really don't enjoy shopping - I love shoes, but get easily overwhelmed trying to decide on a pair, given how expensive shoes are these days. I don't want to drop a hundred bucks and get home only to realize I can't walk in them. Too many past bad buys lining the closet floor - a "sitting shoe" graveyard. But these just felt like me - I'm in love with orange and they just seemed a little hippie-ish, which I am deep down. Plus the added bonus of comfort. Don't you love it when you find something that clearly is your true style?
Here's to stepping into Spring - finally.
I thought I'd share with you a few of my latest favourite things:
This book
This movie (Paul Giamatti is spectacular in this)
This song
This character from my favourite show